Chronically Hopeful

For anyone living with long-term illnesses, conditions, disorders etc. you know how hard it is to remain positive. It can seem impossible to have a future, to make plans or to even be happy. At the beginning of my journey that's how I felt. My life was turned upside down and it felt like all I had worked for was ripped out from under me. I had just graduated university and stated my first full time job, working with special needs students. Everything was going well until my body just stopped working properly. After just 3 months I had quit my job and I was pretty much bed ridden. I had no hope, I couldn't see how I could ever be happy or how my life would turn out.

It may seem dramatic to some but when your life is tipped upside down and your own body no longer works for you, it is crushing. I realised that the plans I had made before getting unwell were no longer going to be possible - at least not in the way I had thought. As I received my diagnoses and started treatments I had to make a choice. I needed to either find hope and adapt my new self to my dreams or I was going to give in. I chose hope. I learnt what my boundaries were, how much could I work, what pushed me over the edge, how to manage treatments and appointments. Through doing that I had to find what my passion was. I had always wanted to work with children and young people and even though I couldn't do full time anymore, I knew that if I was going to work it would have to be with children.

So, I adjusted my passion in line with my health. Yes, I had to compromise but in doing this I still could do something I loved, be happy and continue to live my life. I would much rather have hope than to be at home, given up on myself and my life. It takes a lot of courage, patience, hard work and determination to keep hopeful and happy. I don't hope to be well but I hope that I will do my best and succeed in ways that to me are incredible. Those who are chronically ill can do so much and are just as amazing as anyone else. I just believe it takes more work to get there.

Therefore, I am chronically hopeful in life and I refuse to give up. God has used every bad, hard, confusing and isolating situation in my life for good. So, I know that in my hope there is a real and incredible future for me. It may not look like what you are used to but it is there.

Keep hoping, keep moving forward, don't give up.

Faithfully,

Becky