Sticks and Stones

'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'... If only that was the truth.

In reality words hurt; words linger, words damage and words can destroy. I know this first-hand, there were many words that once broke me. The words of others impacted the way I viewed myself, the amount of worth I credited to myself and the way I ended up living for a long time. It held me back, it stifled my dreams and hopes and it told me 'I wasn't good enough, nice enough, pretty enough, cool enough etc.' Those seemingly insignificant words have shaped me as a person.

I want to share a little of the impact that words have had in my life and how the word of God changed me. I hope that in sharing my story it may help to give hope and encouragement to those suffering. I also hope that it may challenge you, to use your words for good and not to harm others.

I was just a child when I began getting bullied in school - much of this I have blocked out as a way of protecting myself and moving on. I was bullied in various ways but much of what hurt the most was what they said. I believed that I wasn't pretty, funny, cool, nice or intelligent. They had every intention of tearing me down and it worked. I was incredibly shy, anxious and had little belief in myself. I spent most of my childhood hating school because of those who were mean and nasty. Now, as much as I know it's hard in the moment I must say - those who bully really do have issues of their own. The reason most bully is because they lack love and attention, they are extremely jealous of you. It was the case for me, many years later I found out the hard life those kids had when they were hurting me. It doesn't make your pain any less but it can make forgiveness easier.

So, I spent a long time with all that pain in my heart until I started understanding what God had to say about me. I had counselling and I worked on my confidence but what really gave me freedom was my faith. The only way to truly change those words you are carrying is by replacing them with the truth of the Bible. I felt I was pointless, invisible and dumb - but that is not what God thinks of me or you.

God says: you are his child (John 1:12), he says you are wanted and planned (Jeremiah 1:5), he says you are wonderful (Psalm 139:14), he promised to love you and made a covenants for you (Genesis 9:13) and he sent his Son to die because he believed you are worth it (Romans 5:8).

The more I believed in this verse 'For I know the Plans I have for you says the Lord, Plans for good and not for evil, Plans to give you hope and a future' (Jeremiah 29:11). The more I began to let go of those negative thoughts and the more I began to believe in what God thought of me and began to seek out my goals and dreams. I understood that even though at the time I did not know the purpose for my pain or how it would work out for good - that God was with me and was going to use it for something greater than I could imagine.

I look back now and I wouldn't change a thing - yes I missed out on things and I went through a lot of heartache but it made me compassionate, caring,thoughtful about my words and actions. It led me to the Lord and it led me to working with children and young people. I believe it has made me good at the roles I hold. So, if I have anything to tell myself back then it would be this: Keep your faith strong, believe what God says about you, believe in the power of prayer and don't give up because the future holds so much hope.

My top tips for those hard times: -Talk to someone you trust, just let out your feelings. -Read the Bible, listen to worship music and pray. -Don't worry about having 'friends', look around you at those who are there for you (young and old) and hold onto that. -Enjoy hobbies and you don't have to share them with anyone but just do something that takes your mind off everything and puts you in a happy bubble. -Keep dreaming, because you can do anything you put your mind to. -The most important - FORGIVE - forgive them. God will deal with them, you need only to be still.

This is a long process and it doesn't need to be rushed or compared. Just know a hard season doesn't last forever. And the words that cut now will become beautiful scars that make you an even more compassionate, caring, loving person. I pray that God is with you and you know you really are loved.

Faithfully,

Becky