Working on my words….

I don’t know about you, friends, but I have a really hard time with my words. I often find find myself talking too much, talking in a snappy way and using words I don’t mean. Not to mention when my brain fog kicks in, I can’t get any of my words out right and none of my sentences make sense! Our tongues are a powerful force; the Bible actually talks a lot about our tongues and the way in which we speak. In James 3:9-10 it says ‘With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be’. The Bible is so right about us and our mouths! In one breath we are praying and singing to God and in the next we are gossiping, bickering and complaining.

The problem with our tongue is that it is usually unchecked, we just speak without thinking. We often don’t take time to assess if what we are saying is useful, valuable and uplifting. James 1:19 ‘My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry’. Often we say things we later regret, or we say things in a way that wasn’t very nice, and we feel bad about that. This is something I am working really hard on in my life right now. I do both; I speak without thinking or really listening and I say things in the wrong way. Now, please don’t feel bad if this is also something you struggle with… let’s be honest most of the world struggles with this. But do let this realisation change you.

The road to working on our words is a long one, but do not be discouraged. With the power of the Holy Spirit, we can change. This is the key message I have for you… if you want to change your words, you cannot do it on your own. Let me repeat… you cannot do it on your own. We can try and as hard as we like, but no real, permanent change will come. I have tried so hard to be more patient, kind and sweet when I speak, and it may last a week and then I am right back to my old snappy self. If we want to truly be changed, in our hearts, then we need God’s help. The change I am talking about is this: going from being snappy to patient, from saying mean words and insults to saying loving and uplifting words, from swearing to using your vocabulary to express your feelings in a better way and from speaking too soon to thinking about how and what you want to say. We are talking about changing the actual words we use, the way we say them and thought processes behind them. We want to be overhauled, so we can speak like Jesus – in truth, love and kindness.

Maybe you’re thinking "but HOW do I do that? How do I really change?". These are my five top tips for creating change in your words:

1) Read your Bible! You need to know what the word of God says about words. When we know what pleases God, we can begin to do that and emulate that way of speaking. We are also better able to identify where our speech is going wrong. We also need to know the word of God, so we have passages that will encourage us to keep working on this change. This is a link to 27 verses about the tongue to get you started: https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses-about-the-tongue/

2) Ask for the Holy Spirit to help you. Like I said, we cannot do it alone. So, pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you. The Spirit can help convict us (make us aware when we do something that doesn’t please God) and this helps us to stay focused on changing. The Spirit can also help you to choose better words and will support you from the inside to change. Galatians 5:16 'So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh'.

3) Get an accountability partner. This one is so important and helpful. To create lasting change, we need to be committed long term to working on this. Having someone you trust to tell you that you’re saying things that maybe aren’t the best is really key. It means they will check in on you and encourage you to keep after your goal. They can also help you to feel encouraged that what you have done so far is amazing! Each baby step of change is incredible, and you should be excited for that.

4) Remove bad influences. If you are having a hard time with saying certain things, take a look at where you might be being influenced. Maybe you have a friend who is always swearing; it may be best to take a step back until you are stronger and do not feel tempted or influenced to swear too. We also need to check the influences we have on social media, the shows we watch and the music we listen to. These can all impact the way in which we speak.

5) Do not give up if it doesn’t change overnight!! I know how disheartening it is when you really want to change but you don’t see results. These things take time and dedication. If you mess up or just find it’s taking a long time to see change – don’t give up. It is hard because our human nature is not to speak in this godly way. And Satan for sure doesn’t want you to change. All these things can make it hard, but it is worth it and with God’s help you can see a real change.

Working on words is a big task, but one that we all must undertake in some way. Friends, you are not alone in this, the Holy Spirit is there to help you and know that many of your brothers and sisters in Christ are walking this journey with you too! I hope this blog offered you some tips and encouragement. I am walking this journey with you friends and by the grace of God, we can change.

Proverbs 21:23 'Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from trouble'.

Faithfully,

Becky